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Post by Professor Berch on Jan 14, 2015 1:32:04 GMT -5
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Post by Professor Berch on Jan 14, 2015 1:33:07 GMT -5
Woo! Woo! Woo! You Know It!
"Radio" rings through the arena, and the buzz the cheers that would have overtaken that theme song are absent. The difference just two years in the business makes. There are no signs in support of Zack Ryder in the crowd. There are very few T-Shirts being worn in Zack Ryder's name. The chants of "Woo! Woo! Woo!" that were there two years ago are gone. The support that was once there has died. The Ryder Revolution is over.
Or is it?
Despite the lack of cheers, the lack of support, "Long Island Iced-Z" himself, Zack Ryder, rushes out onto the stage with the same vigor, the same charisma, that he did when he was United States Champion. He stands on the stage, decked head to toe in gear, from sunglasses and headbands to T-Shirts and boots. He raises his hand into the air and fist pumps. "Woo! Woo! Woo!" Ryder yells out, then raises his hands into the air, showing off the "LI" as he starts to walk down the ramp. "You Know It!" Ryder walks down to the ring, a huge smile on his face. He reaches the ringside area and turns to his left, bringing his arms back down to his sides, as he walks over to the steel steps and walks up them, stepping up onto the apron. He walks to the middle of the apron before stepping into the ring. He stands in the middle of the ring, his hands back in the air, showing off the "LI." He then removes his headband, showing another headband underneath, and throws the original into the crowd. He reaches through the ropes as a ringside crew member hands him a microphone, which he raises up to his lips.
Zack Ryder: "What is up my broskis!? That's right, it's me, it's "Long Island Iced-Z!" It's Zack Ryder! And things are a little different than they were the last time I got the opportunity to speak! Last time I had a microphone in my hand, everyone absolutely screamed as soon as they heard the words "Oh Radio!" This time, not so much. I understand why, bros, and don't think I blame any of you. The reason you guys didn't cheer for me is because I haven't been seen much. Zack Ryder has been a rare sight on Raw for 2 years now. And I got just one question to ask. Are you serious, bro!? No Zack Ryder on Monday Night Raw? There was a time, however short, where Zack Ryder and John Cena would stand in the same ring at the same time! There was a time when Zack Ryder hit Dolph Ziggler with the Rough Ryder and pinned him 1, 2, 3, and beat him. So to go on with Monday Night Raw without me seemed impossible for a time. But the ball kept on rolling without Zack Ryder, and no one seemed to miss me. The lack of support for your #1 Broski isn't surprising, because there's been nothing to support."
The look on Ryder's face tells the entire story tonight. Zack Ryder, usually cheerful, even walking to the ring he was cheerful, has become serious. He isn't there for fun and games, he's there for business. And his business is him. His business is his career, and the dissapointment that's been a part of it for two years. Zack Ryder is in the ring to make a statement. He wants what he once had, and that can be seen in his eyes. He's angry, and at the same time upset, and that can be seen in his facial expression. Ryder runs his hand through his hair, then shakes his head, and looks directly into the camera.
Zack Ryder: "But that changes tonight, bro! Tonight is my second wind. Tonight is when I prove that I still have it. I prove that I am the same broski right now than I was when I became the United States Champion. I'm here tonight to reignite my career, set it back on course, and give it the kick in the rearend that it needs! Your broski isn't done yet, not by a long shot. The bro standing in this ring will be a champion again! He will be a two time success story! And he will win back the support he once had. One day soon, maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but one day soon. Zack Ryder chants will be heard. T-Shirts and Headbands and Sunglasses, they'll all be selling out again! Woo Woo Woo will be back, and Zack Ryder will be a superstar once more!"
The confidence is growing in Ryder's eyes, as he gets a smile on his face again. He starts circling the ring, pumping himself up, and the fans in the arena seem to be getting pumped up as well. Ryder points out into the crowd as he continues to circle the ring, with vigor in his step once more, until he plants his feet in the middle of the ring. He pumps his fist three times...
Zack Ryder: "Woo! Woo! Woo!"
Some fans can be heard chanting along with Ryder. Ryder hears them, and his smile grows even larger. He gets even more pumped up, and his excitement is translating to the fans in attendance.
Zack Ryder: "That right there proves it! That right there proves Zack Ryder is still a somebody! The Ryder Revolution of 2011 and 2012 may have died, but Ryder Revolution 2.0 has just started! And I am serious, bro! Its time for the new Revolution to start! You Know It!"
Ryder drops the mic in the middle of the ring and walks over to the corner, climbing up to the second rope. Once again, he pumps his fist and yells out "Woo! Woo! Woo!" And once again, his hands go in the air, showing off the "LI" of his hometown. The confidence Ryder had is back again, and he feels like he can do no wrong. In his mind and in his heart, Zack Ryder knows he will be a champion once again. |
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Post by Professor Berch on Jan 14, 2015 1:34:51 GMT -5
That was just over 1,000 words.
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Post by Professor Berch on Jan 26, 2015 23:54:24 GMT -5
I ever use these.
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Post by Joey on Jan 27, 2015 0:10:11 GMT -5
The proper usage is to nitpick stupid little things like the themes. |
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Post by Professor Berch on Feb 9, 2015 9:46:58 GMT -5
Meh
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Post by Professor Berch on Feb 15, 2015 22:54:26 GMT -5
So...
podcast?
Maybe.
Need a good mic.
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Jon's Page
Feb 18, 2015 16:52:11 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Professor Berch on Feb 18, 2015 16:52:11 GMT -5
Fucking dentists man...
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Post by Professor Berch on Jun 24, 2015 6:19:39 GMT -5
It's a very stressful time being a Philly sports fan right now. It seems like nothing can go our way in any of the four major sports.
Starting with the Eagles, where I can go most in depth. Chip Kelly has been all over the headlines all offseason, beginning with the trade of LeSean McCoy to the Bills in exchange for Kiko Alonso. This was a move that outraged Eagles fans, as we were trading away one of the best running backs in the league to get another Oregon player at a position where we had starters and didn't need another. The effects of this trade were lessened when Chip was able to sign on DeMarco Murray and Ryan Mathews, two very capable runners, for the price of one Shady. So with extra depth at linebacker and three great runners, including Darren Sproles, Philly fans were happy. At least they would be, had it not been for the trade of Nick Foles to the Rams to get Sam Bradford, a very injury prone Quarterback who will be coming off his second ACL tear. This trade took on more cap than Foles, and essentially negated the cap effects of everything that happened at running back. There were rumors circulating that Sam Bradford would be used as a trade chip to get second overall in the draft and get Marcus Mariota. There were many rumors like this, including a three way trade, and even confirmed reports the day of the draft where we Brandon Boykin, Mychal Kendricks and Fletcher Cox, along with draft picks, and the Titans didn't accept. All three players are very good players for us, with Kendricks being possibly our best interior linebacker, and Cox easily our best defensive lineman. Boykin is a nickel corner who could likely play outside with the "big boys." With this we selected Nelson Agholor, a capable receiver to help lessen the loss of Jeremy Maclin. The Eagles also signed on Tim Tebow, a failed QB with high media appeal. With the confirmation that there is no guaranteed money, this signing isn't so bad. Then there's the offensive line, more specifically, both guard spots. The Eagles did not re-sign Todd Herremans, the weak link to the line, and Evan Mathis either wanted a trade, to be released, or more money. There were no takers on a trade, and the Eagles wouldn't give him more money, so release it was. With La'el Collins available after the draft, Eagles fans wanted to sign him to bolster at least one guard spot, but the Cowboys, the team with the least need for offensive linemen, and a division rival, signed him. With everything going down, and what we're hearing from OTA's and training camp, Bradford may not be ready for the season. He may not even end up being our starter even if he is ready. Mark Sanchez is reportedly much better this year than last year, and he could win the starting job in a competition with Bradford. However, amongst all this, Philly upgraded their defensive backs majorly. Gone are the days of Cary Williams and Bradley Fletcher. Replacing them are Byron Maxwell, a former member of the Legion of Boom, and most likely Eric Rowe, a rookie we took in the second round. If not Rowe, then Nolan Carroll has been impressive in the #2 spot. With Walter Thurmond being moved to safety, and being touted as a "natural talent" at safety, and with Malcolm Jenkins retaining the other safety spot, the secondary has improved immensely. Riley Cooper, Josh Huff and Jordan Matthews are the likely starters should Agholor not get Huff's spot before Week 1, along with Miles Austin being the vet of the group, receiver is looking good for now and the future. The only real questions remain at guard and Quarterback. With two at least mid-level quarterbacks, and reported depth at guard, those aren't big questions, but out biggest questions. With an entirely new team, however, we fans are nervous going into the season this year, as we don't know how good we'll be.
Moving on the the Phillies, after winning the World Series in 2008 and making it to the Series again the next year, there has been a steady decline in the team. Starting with Roy Halladay's retirement, the vets of the team have been declining due to age, and there hasn't been much improvement at any position. These struggles were headlined by the firing of longtime manager Charlie Manuel and trade of longtime short stop Jimmy Rollins. The pitching group is headlined by Cole Hamels, who has been talked about as being traded for the entire season, but not much else is there. Ryan Howard is rounding back into form, but the form of a good power hitting first baseman who is on the decline from age. Chase Utley has been dreadful with the bat, Freddy Galvis is not a starting quality shortstop, and the outfielders are decent at best. The shining light is third baseman Maikel Franco, who has been a beast since being called up. At 22 years old, he is a future star of the game, but if the players around him aren't improved, he'll be on a middling roster and likely won't want to stay around.
On to the Flyers, and the big news is that we're third coach in 7 years. Berube was promoted to President, but we still have another new coach. Despite a very good goalie, Steve Mason, the Flyers have not been a very good team in years. They do have the pieces, but mistakes have not helped the Flyers' cause. Ray Emery, while good, does not have mobility, and gets beat at goalie. Claude Giroux and Wayne Simmonds are the two key offensive pieces to the team, but aren't getting much help on defense.
I shouldn't even need to go into the troubles the Sixers are having. They are well known here. Trading promising point guard Michael Carter Williams was a very confusing move, despite getting a first rounder out of it.
Being a Philly sports fan has not been fun lately, and the only real saving grace can be the Eagles getting to the post season again. |
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Post by Professor Berch on Sept 27, 2015 18:21:46 GMT -5
My fantasy team, which lost Jordy Nelson, Kelvin Benjamin and Kevin White after the draft, and just lost Ben Roethlisberger for at least a few weeks, is sitting at 2-0, about to be 3-0 and looking very much like it'll be three out of three weeks where my team ends with the most points. So yeah, I'm fucking beast at Fantasy Football. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2015 18:23:37 GMT -5
My fantasy team, which lost Jordy Nelson, Kelvin Benjamin and Kevin White after the draft, and just lost Ben Roethlisberger for at least a few weeks, is sitting at 2-0, about to be 3-0 and looking very much like it'll be three out of three weeks where my team ends with the most points. So yeah, I'm fucking beast at Fantasy Football. Who is on your team? LOL |
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Post by Professor Berch on Sept 27, 2015 18:26:26 GMT -5
My fantasy team, which lost Jordy Nelson, Kelvin Benjamin and Kevin White after the draft, and just lost Ben Roethlisberger for at least a few weeks, is sitting at 2-0, about to be 3-0 and looking very much like it'll be three out of three weeks where my team ends with the most points. So yeah, I'm fucking beast at Fantasy Football. Who is on your team? LOL QB - Ben Roethlisberger (Gonna be Tyrod Taylor for the forseeable future) WR - AJ Green WR - Larry Fitzgerald WR - Stevie Johnson RB - Marshawn Lynch RB - Carlos Hyde TE - Travis Kelce FLEX - Changed every week. Delanie Walker Week 1, DeAngelo Williams Week 2 (Picked up that week, dropped after) then Devonta Freeman this week (Picked up right before the games started today). K - Dan Bailey DEF - Arizona Defensive Player - C.J. Mosley |
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Post by Professor Berch on Dec 27, 2015 19:36:10 GMT -5
QB - Ben Roethlisberger (Gonna be Tyrod Taylor for the forseeable future) WR - AJ Green WR - Larry Fitzgerald WR - Stevie Johnson RB - Marshawn Lynch RB - Carlos Hyde TE - Travis Kelce FLEX - Changed every week. Delanie Walker Week 1, DeAngelo Williams Week 2 (Picked up that week, dropped after) then Devonta Freeman this week (Picked up right before the games started today). K - Dan Bailey DEF - Arizona Defensive Player - C.J. Mosley So, this was my Week 3 Team. My championship winning team is as follows: QB - Ben Roethlisberger WR - AJ Green (Yet to Play) WR - Larry Fitzgerald WR - Allen Hurns RB - DeAngelo Williams RB - Devonta Freeman TE - Delanie Walker FLEX - David Johnson DEF - Arizona Defensive Player - Malcolm Smith |
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Jon's Page
Dec 27, 2015 21:16:42 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2015 21:16:42 GMT -5
Congratulations on the big win, Jon!!
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Post by Professor Berch on Feb 1, 2016 16:05:04 GMT -5
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